Wednesday news
Today is the 23rd of March, 2022. Reflection on the past, dreams and yesterday's visuals.
My morning started with a nightmare. I think it was a culmination of the last few weeks of watching and reading and the pressure I’m under. So I kept the news searching low today and instead worked on my documents for the backup plan in case we’ll need to flee.
As far as it was mostly archive digging, printing and form fulfilling, the day passed slowly. The only thing I did was think about the questions I’ve been asked. For example about my nationality self-identification. In other words, what is my tribe? Is it the Russian pack, or Jewish? Or Polish? If I dig deeper - the Spanish or the Mongol ancestors? And you know what? I have never identified myself with my blood origins. I’m connected to the country, its history, culture, spirit, nature, the air… Of course its people as a unity.
Then I moved to the questions for my son, and how can I define his nationality? On what base? Blood? Different passports? But there’s a question about citizenship. The environment he accepts as home? He’s too small to choose one. And I’m not sure I can choose one for him. I feel all of my own parts and none of them is dominant. Why should he choose just one side, one nationality as self identification? For what?
Every time now people address to me on Instagram (I need to add that in Russia I should call it a “terrorist organisation” like it’s ISIS not a social network), I need to deal with their asumptions that if I’m Russian I should: protest, feel guilt, condemn my country, be impolite, even brutal, hate others or that I’m brainwashed and apologetic to the regime…
I don’t know what to say. I guess people from the East in Western countries feel the same: they are told what they should be. And if they are not, what’s then? Disillusionment? Aggression? I think it’s quite unfair to shrink personality to just a single quality, that we can’t even call the defining one. Because if we do it, we'll be on the ground of the racist’s theories.
Another question that made me rethink my past were tables about my work experience. I needed to choose the main occupation and honestly that is a tricky question in my case. I know what I love to do, but I also know that it’s not prospective work in the country where I don’t speak the native language. So for the better impression I should choose things that I don’t value that much: my knowledge in graphic design, site development, marketing analysis. Even microbiology and soil science might be my future if things go off. In the worst scenarios I can even hack shit. Well, those skills I need to update, a lot has changed since the 2000s. So why did I choose journalism as my major profession? Because I still live the same life as before the 24th of February. Maybe there’s another one waiting for me, but I can’t let this one go, and that includes my dreams and my vision of the future.
And what is the future? The country and all its neighbours lived somehow without much troubles, even COVID now seems as a happy period compared to what is ahead of us. Then one day you wake up into this absolutely surreal world. No one knows why, what’s happened, what to expect. The only thing that is clear is that it's not your place anymore. Like in “Inception” (a film by Christopher Nolan from 2010) you live in the dream and can’t leave it. You can’t even identify what is an illusion and what is real. This morning I couldn’t tell the difference, that’s for sure. Feels like someone reconstructs and complicates reality testing our resistance to his will.
I wish it was just my personal nightmare, but it’s not. It’s everywhere, and if you haven’t faced the consequences yet, it’s just a matter of time. That is especially interesting in business. Reputational risks, ineffective changes, broken logistic chains, lost income, overproduction and so on.
And the major conflict that provoked it was moral. For the first time the war spreads all over the globe because people wanted to be or look nice, punishing aggression. And they needed to cut their former partners and clients that were good people as well, but in a day became the faces of evil.
By spreading the war with good intentions I mean the spirit of war. It’s contagious. Population of the poorest countries won’t think about the whole chain of events when hunger comes, when they will lose their jobs. They wouldn’t know about the burned Ukrainian farms or sanctioned Russian exports. They won’t ask who was the first and who hit the most. They will turn their heads to the basic social injustices. What are they in African countries, in Asia?
On the other hand there’s still an ethical business problem. Those who know the theory understand that for centuries of capitalism it was not about the common good for humanity but about the good for the shareholders. The perfect example of the ethical crisis is what’s going on on the diamond market around Alrosa - a Russian main mining company that provides about 30% of the raw gems for the world markets.
“The situation with Russian diamonds is that they really became conflict diamonds overnight, - says Cristina Villegas, director of the Mines to Markets program at Pact, a development NGO, – and so far, many major industry groups have remained silent on whether responsible buyers should continue the sourcing. These things take time to settle on new definitions. But the silence is striking – and it’s hard not to presume it’s because much of the industry is hoping that this goes away or it’s forgotten.”
Well, maybe it will resolve itself in time. Though I don’t think so. But let’s dream it will. Peace is what we need.
A digest from my Instagram for March 22nd, 2022
7.00am zakharova_kaetano Good morning ☀️ I’m trying to put some energy in my day and find positive thoughts for writing, keeping all the hardcore stuff for myself struggling to “keep it all inside”. How are you today? #haveagoodday here’s #RobinWilliams in The Birdcage (1996) #morninginspiration #goodmorningpost#beautyofcinema #cinemaasinspiration #morningmood#oldhollywoodmovies #dancingthrough
3.30pm zakharova_kaetano #finding @wallacechanart ring. #mypreciouseffect #artofjewellery #beautyofjewellery#contemporaryjewellery #jewelleryasinspiration #teasureisland
9pm zakharova_kaetano #goodnightandsweetdreams#nightmood #fashionportrait#fashioneditorial #StellaTennant for @i_d Gale-Force Winds, Up to 80 mph, Freak Rain, Widespread Flooding #fashionstory February 2012 @solvesundsbostudio styled by @stockdale.charlotte hair @tinadiditTina Outen makeup @pollyosmondnails #MikePicock #artofphotography#beautyoffashion#fashionasinspiration
11.30pm zakharova_kaetano #goodnightandsweetdreams #nightmood#fashionportrait @kikikixue photography for #Beautystory for @voguegreece Oct issue. Model @aram_sall Stylist @alinedebeauclaire Makeup @minkimmakeup Hair @rudymartins#artofphotography #likeapainting #beautyofwoman#fashionasinspiration
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